Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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