Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
