OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am naked and annoyed.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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