You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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