I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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