i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize