areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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