I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
