i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
