I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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