dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Two words: blizzard sex
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
