Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
