i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
