Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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