I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
