What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
