i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
