he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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