My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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