guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
