I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
