You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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