im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
