Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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