Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize