Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
