I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
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your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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