WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
