My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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