Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
