I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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