and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize