So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
