so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
