Don't you send me to vm
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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