what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
