Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
