we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize