He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My bed is full of blood and feathers
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
