Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
