it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize