Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
