apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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