I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
