you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
