Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am puke
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
