I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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