no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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