there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
