what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
