I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Can Purell be used as lube?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
