the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
