dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We left the knife in your bed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
