I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Congratulations! We have a period
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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