everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
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