i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
