How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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