I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
