My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize