ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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