im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i think i have herpe
just one?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
