Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize