Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
