its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
