fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
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my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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