Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
