we have officially lost it.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
