Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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