so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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